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I’ve had this blog brewing for a while but just haven’t taken the time to flesh it out. It’s some thoughts from a while back but my first fathers day stirred them up again. So I thought I would finally share.
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I was sitting down with a good friend and another dude (friend / acquaintance), the other dude happened to be a CCM musician guy; trendy, hipster, semi-famous, and of course wise! Somehow we got to talking, I had recently gotten married, he had recently had his second kid. We were talking about family stuff, the joys of being a father and challenges of being a husband, at least a first year husband. At some point the conversation shifted and we began to talk about politics, faith, and then pacifism. And then the trendy Christian rocker stated, quite matter of fact, “Well I used to be a pacifist until I had kids.” Followed by a “you’ll understand someday.”
In case you didn’t know, I’m a pacifist. As I read the scriptures, especially the words of Jesus I think it’s fairly hard not to be. I mean if your going to take the words of Jesus seriously, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” “Don’t resist an evil doer.” The list goes on… just read The Sermon on the Mount. So for me it’s hard not to be a pacifist when i read these words. Now I respect people who have differing opinions than me but for me, I think it’s hard to read these word of Jesus and then pick up a gun and go kill people to protect the things I love; God, country, family, etc. That’s a hard move for me to make.
But like my trendy, wise, Christian rocker friend stated, “You’ll understand when you have kids.”
Well now I have a kid. And to be honest what my friend said has really stuck with me. I understand the difficulty with even the IDEA of being a pacifist, especially in our world. I really do. And when I’m honest and people ask me if i’m a pacifist my response is, “Well, I want to be.” I say that because I know in reality I am bent toward violence and reaction. I understand that about myself. But I also feel like I understand that the most faithful // Faith-Full thing to do is to follow Jesus and that’s isn’t always easy or the way i am naturally bent.
Now I often tell people who roll there eyes at me for even suggesting the idea of pacifism that, “non-violence isn’t necessarily non-action.” I think that is an important caveat to the conversation, but another conversation altogether.
As I reflect on my stance as a pacifist and my now status as a father I’m trying to decide if my wise rocker friend was correct. Does the love I have for my son negate my ideological position as a pacifist?
For the first few months of Jacks existence (Jack is my son) I would take him when he was crying into my office and play a few of his favorite tunes. The 2 songs that seemed to calm him the most were, 1) The Hope That Lies Within 2) Oh How He Loves – both recorded by The Glorious Unseen. (great album, you should get if you don’t have it). But I would blast these songs and sing them into my infant sons ear and he would, miraculously, calm down. And almost every time I would sing these words,
“He is jealous for me (I would sing you)
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of the sudden I am unaware of these affliction eclipsed my glory
I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affection are for me
O, How He love us so
O how he love us
O, How He love us so”
…almost every time I would sing these words I would think about that comment, “You’ll understand once you have kids.” As I would sing those songs into Jacks little ears, telling him how much God loves him, I would realize how much I love him and how I would do anything for him and to protect him. And I would think, “was he right? Do I now understand?”
But in the midst of those thoughts I would realize that my love for my son can’t be stronger than God’s love for my son OR God’s love for his son. And in the mystery of the Trinity God’s love for God’s self which, more often then we are aware of, is turned in our direction and lavished upon us. This infinite and incomprehensible love that’s exists within God’s self and is poured out on humanity with undeserved regularity. This love that I can’t even fathom is directed from the heart of God to my son Jack every second of every moment and in the same way it was directed toward Jesus in every line we read of scripture, every space we ignore, every pause we skim over, and in every possible way we don’t even think of, God was in constant Love for his son. Even when his Son was hanging on a tree, bleeding and hurting, being killed by the enemy, LOVE WAS THERE. I don’t understand that but I pray God would fill me with the faith to embrace that moment of divine love that we witness in the crucificition of Jesus and I pray even harder as a father that God would gift me with even a small portion of the love I witness in that cosmic even of the cross for my son Jack.
And if I can receive that gift, even in part and as feebly as I am capable of, I believe I can continue to be faith-full to the words of Jesus, living the way of a hopeful, aspiring, would-be pacifist father. Which might be the only way any of us are capable of doing it anyway.
So was my friend right?
I don’t think so. Not if I believe in the power of the resurrection and the hope that lies within! I don’t think he was.
Grace and peace
from a would-be pacifist and an awestruck father!
erik
PS :: if you would like a resource to further this conversation here is a REALLY good one!
This little book entitled :: What Would You DO is a great resource to help you think through the challenges and questions of being a pacifist. It’s a great read from a few voices, put together by John Howard Yoder. Who is a stud and somebody you should read! Without a doubt!
:: Politics of Jesus
:: The Original Revolution
:: Body Politics
// TO NAME A FEW…
Tags: fatherhood, God, Jack, Jesus, pacifism
I had a great weekend with friend & musician Jordan Frye (go buy his new EP, you won’t be sorry!). We had some great conversation and it sparked some great questions. I’ve also been hanging out in Carlsbad CA with my buddy Nate Wells, landscaping extraordinaire, stud surfer, even better youth pastor, and just an all around good dude! We’ve also been talking about church, life, and what it really means to be a follower of Jesus. (mostly over sushi and / or coffee!). There’s been a dozen other peoples along the way, all great conversations about following Jesus and living his life on this earth!
SO yea, I been having some great conversation over the last week, thought I would share some of the thoughts these conversations have provoked in my own brain. Let me know what you think!
|| 1st question
Why do we go to church?
I feel like there are a lot of answers to this question but really, why do we go to church? Why do we think it’s important. I have a list of answers but I’m afraid my answers are canned, rehearsed, things I’ve written on a piece of paper labeled the “right answer” but I’m removed from the heart of the issue and the real answer(s) that are important to real people instead of the text books, pastors, or theology buffs. So why to we go to church, really?
|| 2nd pondering
What must we believe to be a “Christian” a follower of Christ?
What are the essentials?
Are there some things we just need to accept despite our disbelief or lack of understanding?
My initial response is yes! But I want to step back, be humble, and actually let it be a question. To many times we give our immediate denial or rebuttal and never really let the question be engaged and pondered.
In one conversation I had this week the question of essentials came up. One person said, “the only thing you need to believe is love. Love God, Love others.” I propose there are a few other essential of the Christian faith and life. Things like the Trinity, the resurrection of Jesus, etc. So really, what are the essentials for a Christians?
Do we consult the 39 articles of religion? The creeds? Or do we just need to love?
|| OTHER
Really I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. My mind and heart has been full, hopeful, contemplative, and wandering all at the same time. California and Jesus will do that to ya. or at least it does to me.
Think // praying // pondering
Erik
Do you ever stand still and look around, realizing something is off? That something isn’t the way it is suppose to be. Well you should, you should have that feeling often if you are a follower of Jesus.
I just found out today that a guy I know, his wife died. I don’t know this fellow well, I have actually never met him but he’s probably about my age and so was his wife. They were both followers of Jesus and as I hear him talking about his late wife and he seems ok, strong even. It’s evident that his faith in Jesus and His resurrection is a foundation for him during this time. This is an amazing testimony to the hope we have in Jesus, for sure!
BUT, when I found this out today I was overwhelmed with a sense, this IS NOT how things are suppose to be.
Monday I assisted a buddy of mine who is a film director. He was shooting a video for Vanderbilt hospital. Around every corner was someone sick or dying, someone in pain, or a family member distraught with the pain of loss and hurt. As we were walking through the children’s hospital I saw a little girl, 9 or 10, being wheeled around. She was bald and looked as if she didn’t have an ounce of energy to give life. Again, my heart ached and my mind thought, this IS NOT how things are suppose to be.
I just wanted to pray with people and let them know God was by their side and their pain wasn’t being overlooked. Their cries were being heard. And this isn’t how things are suppose to be and it’s not how this will always be.
Even as a type, and my eyes well up, I think about the universe and it’s oh so evident misalignment to dream of God. It’s overwhelming is it not.
I think about Dr. John, the homeless man that my wife has been getting to know. I’ve only talked to him a couple times but again, it’s just NOT how its suppose to be.
Have you have had this sense?
There is holy longing in the life of the Christian for things to be made right. For life to be like God intended for it to be. I sense this longing all to often!
But until the Kingdom comes on earth I will attempt to live as if it’s already here.
Grace and peace
Erik
Tags: ache, justice, longing, peace
This is a book i am been needing to review for awhile now. I finished reading it a month ago for so… so here ya go!
The Sacred Meal by Nora Gallagher
On the back of this book are quotes by a couple well respected people; Brian McLaren, Lauren Winner. McLaren’s words I agree with, Nora Gallagher opens up The Table to wide audience in her book The Sacred Meal.
She is a great writer and as you read this book you will sense this and feel as if your sitting along site her, having a conversation about a often misunderstood but incredibly important aspect of the Christian life. She communicated the truth and mystery of the Eucharist in a very accessible and creative way. Which makes this book well worth the read.
Lauren Winner makes the statement, “I know of no contemporary writer whose insights about the Eucharist match hers.” I know Winner is smart and well read which is why this statement blows me away. That is a huge claim and one I would not even come close to making. As good of a book as this is I have read many that are better when it comes to Eucharistic theology.
Gallagher opens up the conversation of the Eucharist to all, which is great, but sometime she goes a little to far and leans a little too much into her trade as a novelist. I don’t need to agree with everything she says but I thing she stretches her metaphors a bit far at times and fails to simply tell us how to live a Eucharistic life, even though i think this is her aim.
This book is worth the read but go in open minded, ready to agree and disagree, but most importantly be ready to engage in a horribly important topic for today’s church, The Eucharist.
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If you want to buy this book get it here!
(buying it here sends eMinistries a little cash, So buy it!)
I got this book for free from Thomas Nelson to review on this blog.
THANKS!
Tags: Book Review, books
I haven’t been reading my Relevant Magazine lately so I put the last few issues in the bathroom. Now I will read Relevant during those holy moments instead my wife’s Elle or Marrie Claire / whatever girly crap is on the shelf. A good move I know!
Today I picked up the November | December issue, the one with Jon Foreman on the cover and decided to read a little article that sparked my attention, So is Drinking Ok? By Jayson Boyett. Some of you know where I’ve landed on this issue and the issues it’s stirred for me so let’s talk.
Jason writes an article that is pretty well written and gives a fair assessment of both side of the issue. Of course in an article that is probably 1000 – 1500 words long one can’t really get into the nuances of the issue and really state a good case for either side but he does do a good job of making a couple points and leaving room for the discussion to continue. Personally I wish there were more answers give rather than questions raised but with such a touchy topic among many conservative Christians i can understand why Boyett opted not to make any definitive statements on either side of the issue.
(found the digital issue of Boyett’s article, check it out!)
For me…
Read the rest of this entry »
So i went to see Rob Bell the other night. His current tour is called Drops Like Stars. It’s an attempt to look at suffering differently, to change the question a bit.
It was good, not mind blowing or anything but really good. I could unload on you all my thoughts but instead you should just go get the book. Word on the street is that the book and the tour are the same things. I plan on reading the book.
So, here you will just get some of my thoughts that i wrote (on my iPhone) while Rob was talking.
(this is an image i took while Rob was talking about Jonny Cash at the Viper Room in LA)
// my notes //
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//Insulators / The box
- When the box is crushed, something random is done or happens, that’s when we realize there is no box / or our box is destroyed.
- How can we smash the box?
// Telling people “i’m fine” and suffering behind the curtain.
- How to live honestly?
>> The Art of Honesty
// “There is no way to God except through trouble.”
(This was a quote from somebody but i don’t remember who. I’m sure it’s in the book.)
// The heart of the gospel is the cross.
- The heavenly incarnational “i know how you feel”
// Art and Feat :: a book
(i made a note cause i’m interested in reading this book he spoke of)
// “This to will shape me”
(this is something Rob said that noted)
—–
Well those were my notes. Obviously he said a lot more than that but those are the few thing he said that i wrote down. He did say one other thing that has stuck in my head. It was pretaining to his words on the “art of elimination” which is the section in his talk where he has us hold a bar of soap and talked about the time he invited sculptors over to his house to sculpt bars of soap.
The point was that some things will need to be taken away, eliminated, in order for you to see the potential in your “bar of soap” / your life.
Extremely sold point and illustrated with absolute creativity. I LOVE IT! i will probably steal the idea in the future!
So that’s my Rob Bell / Drops Likes Stars love for today.
Go read the book!
(here is a good review of the book if your interested)
And just incase your not familiar with Rob Bell (which, how could you not be) he’s the dude who does the little 10 min video called nooma. As i was looking for a Drops Like Stars pic to post uptop i found this nooma. Enjoy!
(it’s old Rob but good!)
Tags: Drops Like Stars, nooms, Rob Bell
Thinking about grace and thinking about getting what you deserve.
Issues of Mercy & Justice i suppose.
My thoughts ::
Does God hold out on us because we don’t pray enough?
Does God give us more “blessing” or gift when we pray more?
Does God hold out on us when we mess up?
Does he give us more when we behave? When we’re good little Christians? And less when we don’t?
The list of questions could go on but I think that will do and you get the idea.
The good Rev. Thomas McKenzie made a point in his sermon a week or so ago at Redeemer that God doesn’t punish us. All punishment was absorbed in the person of Jesus Christ. I think that’s true. And I think it’s an important theological point. But it doesn’t answer the questions above. At least not for me.
Now I don’t think God works like that, giving and taking based on our “performance” or something but it sure feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it. Maybe it’s just the way we have been taught to think? Partly based on God in the OT and partly based on the art of coercion that the Church is WAY to good at.
So how does it really work?
How does God interact with us if not in the way insinuated by the questions above?
Thinking through the issues grace in real life and connecting the dots.
HELP!
Embracing Grace and peace
Erik